Nobody Asks Colbert

Today I’m going to talk about wood floors, and how stupid they are. 

Nobody asked me if I wanted wood floors.  I was perfectly happy with the carpet in our old home.  In fact, I was perfectly happy in the old home altogether.  I didn’t need to move, but nobody asks Colbert.

The biggest problem I have with the wood floor is that it is impossible to get traction during tug-o-war.  I used to beat my daddy at tug all the time when we had carpet, and now I only win when we play in the bedroom or tv room because those are the only two carpeted rooms.

 

I’m sure my daddy has noticed this too, which must be why he prefers to play tug on the wood floors.  My attempts at moving to the tv room are often thwarted, but I’m not one to pass up a good tug-o-war, even if it means that my daddy has an unfair advantage.

Also, notice how Daddy cheats by messing with my feet.  The entire tug-o-war system is rigged against me, I swear!